How to step into midlife confidence
You've reached midlife, the kids are (mostly) out the door, you've climbed a career mountain or two, and... a strange thing happens. You crave more than just ticking boxes. You yearn for something deeper, richer, more vibrant, but perhaps you also feel less self-assured in going after what gives you pleasure.
Often in midlife while we are navigating menopause symptoms, we can be riddled with self-doubt, societal expectations, and a nagging inner critic who scoffs at the mere mention of pleasure. Between the hot flashes, the sleep disruptions, and the ever-changing body, it can feel like our internal compass is spinning wildly. But there's one often-overlooked aspect of this transition that can hit us hard: our confidence.
Suddenly, the woman who once walked into a room head held high might find herself tiptoeing in, feeling like a stranger in her own skin. The hormonal fluctuations, the physical changes, and the societal narratives can all conspire to create a perfect storm of self-doubt.
So, how does menopause actually impact our confidence?
The Hormone Hijack: Estrogen and progesterone, the architects of our inner confidence palace, start throwing a demolition party. This can lead to mood swings, anxiety, and forgetfulness, making it hard to feel like the strong, capable woman you know yourself to be.
The Body Blues: Our bodies change, and let's be honest, society doesn't always celebrate these changes. Weight gain, hair loss, and new aches and pains can all chip away at our body image, making it harder to feel comfortable and confident in our own skin.
The Identity Crisis: We're no longer the young career women we once were, but haven't quite reached "wisdom elder" status either. This in-between space can be confusing, leaving us questioning our purpose and value, and making it harder to stand tall with confidence.
This dip in confidence is not your destiny.
Here are some ways to reignite your inner spark:
Remember, it's temporary: This is just a chapter, not the whole story. Treat it with kindness and understanding, knowing that your confidence will return, stronger and more nuanced.
Embrace self-care: Prioritize activities that nourish your mind, body, and soul. Whether it's a solo dance party, a yoga session in the sun, or a guilt-free afternoon curled up with a book, make time for yourself.
Challenge the narrative: Don't let societal expectations define your worth. Embrace your midlife wisdom and redefine success on your own terms.
Reclaim your strengths: Remind yourself of the challenges you've conquered, the skills you've mastered, and the people whose lives you've touched.
Your confidence is not lost, and rediscovering your pathways to pleasure can help to empower you.
Some of the ways you can make midlife more pleasurable are:
1.Reconnect with your body: We spend years pushing and molding our bodies, forgetting the inherent joy of simply inhabiting them. Start by practicing mindful movement or dance in your kitchen like no one is watching, connect to all your senses while out in nature. Explore sensual self-massage, bathe in candlelight, or savor a delicious meal with full attention. Remember, your body should be celebrated not criticized.
2. Ditch the shoulds, embrace the wants: Midlife is often riddled with "shoulds": you should be a good parent, a successful career woman, a perfect wife. But what do YOU actually want? Make a list of your deepest desires, from the seemingly trivial (a daily cup of tea in silence) to the more ambitious (start a new business!). Prioritize these desires, carve out time for them, and watch them come to life.
3. Play with pleasure: Remember the carefree joy of childhood play and wonder? Reclaim that spirit! Take a salsa class, paint with your fingers, get your hands dirty and get creative by taking up pottery or gardening, have a pajama party with your girlfriends. Let your inner child run wild, rediscovering the simple joys that fuel your pleasure.
4. Say yes to sensuality: Midlife is not the end of your sensuality; it's a chance to redefine it on your own terms. Explore sensual practices like self-massage or aromatherapy. Your whole body is a pleasure zone so take time to explore new pleasure spots. Pamper yourself with a beautifully scented lotion or linger in a warm bath. Spoil yourself with beautiful lingerie that makes you feel confident and empowered. Remember, sensuality is a celebration of your being, not a performance for anyone else.
5. Celebrate pleasure in all its forms: It's not just about the bedroom, ladies. Pleasure is savoring a perfectly ripe strawberry, losing yourself in a creative flow, the deep intimacy of a shared laugh. Expand your definition, embrace the little moments, and let joy seep into every corner of your life.
Menopause may make our confidence wobble, but we can emerge on the other side feeling more empowered and sure of ourselves. By understanding the impact of this transition, prioritizing our well-being, and embracing the opportunities for growth, we can rewrite the narrative and show the world what happens when a woman in menopause truly owns her power. Remember, your confidence is not lost, it's just evolving.
Sometimes all we need to step into the most confident version of ourselves is having someone walk by our side and cheering us on. As a menopause and sexual wellness coach, I'm here to support you on this journey. If you would like to dive deeper into personal empowerment and pleasure in midlife, book a free call with me here.